This is how you become dominant between the sheets

Are you ready to take charge? You might feel a barrier to take more dominant action in bed. Even more if you have never done it before and your lover is not used to it. But don’t be put off by feeling uncomfortable about it. With these tips you can be the boss in bed for a change.

3 kinds of dominance

Let’s start at the beginning. There is dominant, and there is dominant-dominant. If you do not really know how dominant you want to be in bed, you can start in a soft way. This could be with dirty talk, or going a little rougher than usual when pushing your lover in a certain direction, and grabbing their hair tight. If this is nothing new to you, you can take it a step further by playful biting, getting out the handcuffs, using toys and deciding when your lover can come. Still too soft? Then aggressive dominance might be something for you. You can think more in the direction of BDSM. This is where suffocation and, among other things, torment comes in. A big step further, so not advisable to start off with.

Dress the part

Put on a dominant outfit. Your outfit can be anything. But it is important that you feel sexy wearing it. Do you know the feeling you get when putting on something nice? And feeling good in it? You instantly feel more powerful. Your outfit giving you a kind of power as it were. Wear what makes you become dominant. Your most exciting outfit, your favorite perfume. Whatever works for you.

Make use of the right resources

You could choose to immediately go all the way and tease your (bed) partner’s body with warm candle wax, while he or she lies with his/her hands tied to the bed and a gag ball in his/her mouth. But we recommend you to start with something a little lighter. For example, you can start with a satin blindfold to turn up the tension. You can cautiously work with a whip or use a tingling sensation lubricant. The choice is yours. You are the boss.

Ensure good communication

Maybe it does not feel very powerful to admit it if you feel a bit tense about something, but at least that way you can take away the pressure. There is no right or wrong and it does not have to be perfect. Consider that you are experimenting together and exploring what suits you and your lover. Communication is important here, to ensure a good experience for both of you. It is also recommended to come up with a stop word that either of you can use to indicate when something goes too far.

Last but not least

You really do not have to become mega-dominant and confident during sex at once. Just trust that this will grow with time, and, as they say, practice makes perfect. It takes time to develop dominance. So fake it till you make it! And foremost, enjoy the process.