Safe choking? This is how you do it!

Choking, also called erotic asphyxiation (as part of breath play), can add just that bit of extra spice during sex. As long as you do it safely, of course. You’re not supposed to take things so far during the deed that your breath play turns into real strangulation. That would be a lot less sexy. So how dangerous is choking really? And more importantly: how do you go about it in a good way? Because we value safety in the bedroom, here’s an explanation. 

Choking

First things first, what is choking exactly? You’ve probably heard about it before. In fact, it’s just as exciting as it sounds. With breath play, the flow of oxygen to the brains can be restricted by putting your hand or both hands around your sex partner’s throat during sex, but without the intention of actually strangling them. When done right choking can be very arousing, but safety is everything here.

What to watch out for

It’s important not to put too much pressure on your partner’s throat while choking and to limit the duration of choking. And it’s not a good idea to just get started without any heads-up, so discuss it first. If you’re both up for it, you start slowly and gently, just getting a feel of things. It should feel good for both the person who’s being choked and the choker. It’s best to avoid the front of the neck, but instead put most pressure on the sides and back of the neck. When you put too much pressure on the front of the neck, this could damage the trachea and larynx.

Safeword or signal

When you want to try choking, decide on a safeword or stop-signal together first. This could just be a tap against the headboard, or a tap against your arm. It’s exciting and fun to explore boundaries together, but you’re not supposed to cross someone else’s boundaries unsolicited. If you’re being choked you can’t always express yourself clearly, so in this case a signal is probably more convenient than a stop-word.

Milder approach

Are you curious about choking, but does it feel a bit too intense for you still? Then you can go for a slightly safer alternative. Choking is part of playing with breath restriction. Breath play can be very arousing and sexy in other ways as well. For example, you can choose to cover your partner’s mouth with your hand. Another option is to use a scarf or cloth made of a breathable material. From here, you can still build up to restricting the flow of air with fingers around the neck in a controlled way.

Have fun together, but keep safety first!