Help with choosing your safeword
BDSM

Help with choosing your safeword

By Janna, 27.02.2023

Do you want to know the secret to mind-blowing, smoking-hot, wild sex? It’s safety. You might think that’s a bit of an anticlimax, but safety is everything. Because when you feel safe, you experience a lot a of freedom. Freedom to discover, dare and let go of all your inhibitions. So safety actually makes a lot of sense. In that light, it’s not such a bad or crazy idea for you and your lover to agree on a safeword. A safeword is a word used to indicate your limits. If something goes a little too far for you, or feels uncomfortable, all you have to do is say the safeword you agreed on and your partner immediately knows that you’re ready to move on to something else. Whether you are into rough sex or vanilla sex, your boundaries are worth safeguarding!

How do you choose a good safeword?

Naturally, you’re completely free to choose a safeword. Although a safeword is a serious and relevant issue, the word doesn’t necessarily have to be. You can have a little fun with it. It could be a silly word that you normally wouldn’t use. As long as it’s easy to remember, clear, and a word you wouldn’t use in the bedroom in another context. Because confusion is the last thing you want. It’s the freedom of knowing you can stop at any time, which makes you lose your inhibitions and creates space to be more daring between the sheets.

What are good examples?

You can use practically anything as safeword. The most chosen words have something to do with food. For example, the words banana, pineapple, pickle, mayonnaise or potato are used sometimes. What’s also common is to use a colour, like red, green and orange. Just like a traffic light. Easy as that. Does that feel uncomfortable to you? You can also choose an object. Are you calling out words like mug , kettle, hat or umbrella? That seems to be a clear sign for your lover that it’s time to stop. By the way, you don’t have to make things complicated for yourself. You can also just use ‘stop’ as safeword. Only, it might be useful to consider first whether you sometimes call that out in a teasing manner in the heat of the moment. It would be a shame if the moment passes because you chose a safeword that you’re both a bit too familiar with. 

Alternative

Does it all seem like quite a challenge to have to remember a word that you’ll also know to call out the moment your limit is reached? In that case, you could also choose to agree on performing a small action instead of using a word. For example, humming or snapping your fingers.

So, a safeword, or action, could be anything you want it to be. Play with it and be creative, that way it can also become a private little moment you can share outside of the bedroom! Pretty exciting, all that safety. 

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