Your wildest fantasies: Is it better to live up to them, or to keep them as fantasy?

Fantasies, let’s be honest, we all have them. Maybe some a bit more, extensive and naughtier than others. But at the end of the day we all do our fair share of fantasizing. And why shouldn’t we? Fantasizing is healthy! Fantasizing and daydreaming make us disconnect from worries, stress and fears. So, it’s a kind of escape. It makes us more creative, making it easier to tackle problems in our daily lives, and at work. We fantasize about a lot of different things, so also about sex. Our mind can wander to our current sex life, to how we’d like our sex life to be, but also to what excites us sexually and what we’d like to try still. But those wild fantasies, do you really have to experience them? Or are some fantasies better left alone?

The most common fantasies

You undoubtedly also have one, or maybe even a number of spicy fantasies. We’ve listed the most common ones here. Not totally unexpected and topping the list at number 1: a threesome! And we get it, as that can be very exciting! There are also regular fantasies about BDSM, sex in public and about having sex with someone of the same gender. Again, we get that!

Taking your fantasy a step further

Of course it’s possible that you have a recurring fantasy and your desire to try it out has become so substantial that you want to make it come true. In that case, it’s useful to let your lover know about your fantasy. That way, you can check whether your partner is also open to it and willing to try new things together. Choose the right moment, don’t make a big deal of it and discuss your fantasy. You’ll probably find that your love likes it and is excited about hearing what turns you on. 

Think carefully first about whether you really want this

As said before, fantasizing can feel like an escape. It can feel like you’re really in another world for a while. A world in which you’re in charge and nothing is too crazy. The chance that you’re enjoying it so much you eventually want it to become reality is not so surprising. It’s good to ask yourself, however, whether you really like that particular fantasy, or whether it’s more the idea of the fantasy? In our daydreams there are often no boundaries, your thoughts direct your fantasy in a certain direction. When you can make them real with someone, that is a bonus, but do take into account that this oh so wanted fantasy could turn out quite disappointing in reality. The last thing you want is for that delicious time you spend with your eyes closed is taken away because it was actually a lot less delicious than you expected. Because what can you fantasize about the next time you’re up for your personal dose of solo love?