BDSM: Am I a sub or a dom?
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BDSM: Am I a sub or a dom?

By Sabine, 12.04.2021

Being either a dom or a sub has everything to do with roleplay in BDSM. So, what’s it all about? We’ll tell you! 

What is BDSM?

BDSM stands for Bondage, Discipline, Dominance, Submission, Sadism and Masochism. BDSM is a sexual preference where it’s all about power and control. It’s a powerplay where people cause and receive pain or restrictions. A partner is often bound and punished. Often one is in control and the other is submissive. That’s where the dom and sub come in! 

The dom

Dom is short for dominance, as in pre domination and exercise of power. The dom gets turned on by power and will become horny when in control. Another name for the dom is master or mistress. The dom controls the sub and lets the sub do all kinds of acts. Or performs acts on the sub. 

The sub

Sub is short for submissive, being obedient and letting yourself be controlled. A sub thinks it’s really hot to be a slave and answers to all the doms commands. There are several kinds of BDSM, a sub can receive and serve, but also be humiliated. 

What is my perfect BDSM role?

To find out whether you are a sub or a dom you should ask yourself the following questions:  

  • Do I like to be dominated in the bedroom or do I like to take control myself? 
  • Do I make sexual decisions for my partner or do I prefer my partner makes them for me? 

Of Course there’s more to it. It’s very complex. So we recommend you to really do some research before you dive into it. Maybe start by using handcuffs. Or a blindfold. If you are cuffed to the bed and start freaking out you’ll know you’re not a sub.

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