How to discuss sexual fantasies with your partner

Sexual fantasies – everyone has them, but sharing these with your partner can be a whole different story. It can be exciting to share your deepest desires, but it might be scary too. Because what if they think your fantasies are strange? What if it hurts their feelings? Don’t worry! Here are some tips and insights to start this conversation with confidence and ease.

Create a safe and relaxed atmosphere

First step: choose the right setting. This may not be a subject to broach over cooking dinner or just before bedtime. Choose a moment where you are both relaxed and have time for an undisturbed talk. A quiet evening with a glass of wine can do wonders.

Be open and honest

Communication is key. Start by saying that you want to share something important to you and that you hope they are open to listening without judgement. Tell them that you have faith in them and that you hope this conversation will bring you closer together.

Start with general questions

If you are not sure where to start, try asking some general questions about fantasies first. You could ask: “Have you ever thought about what things arouse you that we didn’t try together yet?” This way you can start the conversation without immediately revealing your deepest secrets.

Use “I” statements

When sharing your own fantasies, use “I” statements to avoid making your partner feel attacked or pressured. You could, for example, say: “I’ve always fantasized about…” instead of “You should…”

Remain respectful and understanding

Always respect your partner’s reactions and feelings. They may not be immediately thrilled by your fantasies, and that’s okay. Show understanding and give them time to think about what you shared. Be patient and don’t force anything.

Be prepared for different reactions

Not everyone will have the same fantasies or want to try them right away. Take into account different reactions and be flexible. The main thing is to start the conversation and open the door to honesty and understanding. And who knows, they may surprise you with their fantasies too!

Explore together

If your partner is open to your fantasies, you can explore them together in a way that feels comfortable for both. Your partner probably has some fantasies they want to try too. You can take it step by step, taking into account each other’s boundaries and comfort zones. It can be an exciting journey of discovery together.

Respect boundaries

Not all your fantasies have to be realized. It’s essential to respect each other’s boundaries and only do things that you both feel good about. Always make consent and comfort priority.

Discussing sexual fantasies with your partner can be a great way to strengthen your bond,  spice up your sex life and make it more satisfying. By creating a safe space, being open and honest and treating each other with respect and understanding, you can start this conversation without fear. Communication and mutual respect are the keys to a healthy and satisfying relationship.