What you should know about pegging

Pegging is a term that was coined for when a woman penetrates a man using a strap-on. If you’ve just managed to stumble into this page or if you’re actively searching for tips, then you’ve come to the right place!

Just like all anal sex, there are a few things that are important to know before attempting to peg for the first time.

Do Your Research

This might sound redundant because you’re sitting here reading this article, but this is super important. You need to read this article but you also need to keep reading a few more articles, or maybe watch some videos that involve pegging, or maybe read some blogs or talk to some friends if you’re comfortable with that. Learn about it as much as possible because you want to set yourself and your partner up for a successful first time pegging!

Talk To Your Partner

You need to talk to your partner! You need to discuss pegging with them and make sure you both are on board with trying it. This is the perfect time to share the research you’ve found and talk about any concerns or questions that either you might have. There needs to be a lot of communication in all sex-related things, especially if you are trying something for the first time.

Get Your Equipment

Technically speaking, in order to do some pegging you need a dildo and a harness. There are also dildos that don’t require a harness because they are inserted into the wearer. It’s your choice which one you choose to use but the insertable ones might be best saved when you’re more experienced (they also tend to be more expensive).  

You don’t need to invest in a high-end leather harness or a luxury dildo, you just need to make sure that the harness will fit your body and that the dildo is made from body safe material (I’d suggest a silicone dildo).  Pickup some lubricant as well – water-based works the best with silicone. There are some anal-targeted lubes available, too!

Discuss The Dildo With Your Partner

The dildo really depends on what your partner prefers. You should never surprise your partner with a toy that is going to penetrate them. Research together, shop together and pick one together. You’re going to need to consider shape, size, texture and squishiness. If your partner is new to anal play, then I would suggest starting small. If you’re partner isn’t new to anal play, then you’ll already have an idea of what they might like.

Once you purchase the dildo together, you can use it on each other prior to strapping it into the harness. It’s a good idea to get used to the sensations. If you are okay with anal play yourself, you should try out the dildo too. This way you’ll know what it feels like so you will be better prepared to use it on someone else. If you share the toy, then make sure to sanitize it between each person.

Start Slow

When the timing is right, you’ll be able to try pegging for the first time! Make sure that you’ve fooled around for a while so that you’re both in the mood and it takes the edge off a bit. Grab a bottle of lube, your equipment and make sure to start slow. Just like any type of anal penetration, your partner will need to get used to the sensation. You can start with analingus to warm up the area and get comfortable being in the anal region (and it also feels really good). You can start exploring with your fingers, to get your partner more comfortable with the sensation of penetration.

Communicate with each other throughout the process – ask what works, ask if you can go deeper or faster. Listen to the answer and respect it. If your partner isn’t used to anal play then this is an exercise in trust as well. Essentially: use a lot of lube, start slow, and listen to your partner.

Use All Your Hands

While you are pegging, don’t forget about the rest of the body. Use your hands to grab, spank, massage or stroke. Depending on the angle you choose for pegging, you might have easier access to different erogenous zones. If you can’t reach something – for example if you are behind them and can’t reach their penis – then you can remind your partner they can participate in their pleasure as well. Similarly, depending on the angles, you or your partner can stimulate you as well. You don’t need to just focus on the penetration – there is lots of pleasure to go around.

Talk About It

The communication doesn’t end there. Make sure you talk about it after, too. Discuss what worked or what needed some changes. Maybe the dildo wasn’t just right or there needed to be more frequent lube application or you might have preferred a different angle. These are all things that can be discussed during the session but can also be discussed after. Sometimes people are more receptive to different ideas when they are not actively doing something sexual. Each conversation will help improve pegging for the next time.

Pegging can be a lot of fun, and I personally find it so incredibly hot when I peg my partner. It does require some practice and a whole lot of communication, but there is nothing better than being able to really fuck my partner and pleasure them in every way possible. Start with step 1 (research) and grow from there. Happy new year! 

Rebecca Dane  www.acoupleofkinks.com @ACoupleOfKinks