‘The food of love’: Using music in your sex life
Sex Facts

‘The food of love’: Using music in your sex life

By Emmeline Peaches, 27.03.2020

Ah, music… that great force which can bring a person to tears or have them head banging with joy in a mere matter of minutes. As human beings we all seem to share a fundamental connection in the form of music. Music is the greatest uniting force in the world and it’s also one of the most diverse forms of expression available to us. So it should be no surprise that music has such potency when it comes to love and sex.

In fact one study found that couples that listen to music out loud together actually tended to have sex more. As it turns out when we listen to music together it taps in to a more primal aspect of our biology and promotes a sort of ‘return to the wild’. Wild lovin’ that is. With regards to the aforementioned study listening to music out loud actually caused a 67% increase in sex. That’s no small feat!

So, how can you use the power of music to add a bit of bump ‘n grind to your daily routine? Read on to find out.

Using Music to Set the Mood
What does a bird do when it wants to attract a mate? It strikes its best pose, sings like there’s no tomorrow, and perhaps even lays on some smooth dance moves. Charles Darwin was the first to theorise that music might have its roots in the art of seduction but he certainly wasn’t the last either. Most famously Shakespeare once wrote ‘If music is the food of love, play on’. We can definitely agree with Shakespeare here and the right song is often just the thing to set up the perfect ambience for a night of passionate loving.

If you want to keep it traditional then there’s something iconic and utterly irresistible about dimming the lights, putting on some candles, and playing some smooth jazz to ramp up the allure of the evening. Or why not keep it sophisticated with a touch of classical piano? Listening to music together releases oxytocin, which is often referred to as the ‘love hormone’, so putting on the right track will give you the chemical high needed to add some passion to your evening and promote a more intimate exchange.

Busting a Move
But the beauty of music is that it’s not just something you listen to. Oftentimes our body naturally responds to music, making us feel a whole range of emotions and urging us to move our bodies in sometimes cringe worthy ways. Although you may not like your own dance moves there’s certainly something engaging about dancing for or with your partner. At the very least it’s a way to show off just how well you can strut your stuff. But at its core such private dances expose a sense of vulnerability and show our partners that we’re comfortable baring all to them (even our awkward rendition of the Macarena). Dancing also brings you closer together physically, which allows more opportunities for some touch-based flirtation.

For the sexually emboldened combining dance and music is the perfect way to harmoniously seduce your partner. Pick the perfect track and curate your own little strip tease or burlesque in beat with the music. The best thing about this is that music is a natural confidence booster, so you’ll be feeling on top of the world come the end of it all.

Turning Things Up
However music is nothing if not diverse and this creativity can be harnessed in many other fun and sexy ways. Want to pamper and relax your partner before a more gentle love making session? Turn on some gentle music and give them a delicate massage. You could even make sure it’s their favourite mellow playlist, showing just how much you care. Keeping things sensual it’s well worth stripping down together and putting on some tracks before trying to match the music with your touch. Treat each other’s skin as if it were a precious instrument and you are the musician. Listen to the chords of the song playing and track your fingertips over their body in relation to what you hear. Caress them as the music builds and introduce subtle kisses as you come together to compose your own sexual release.

Alternatively the right playlist can be used to encourage a rough and wild sex session with upbeat songs, hard rock, or intense dubstep beats. In such a session it still pays to listen to the music and to help fuel your actions. Thrust and gyrate in unison with the beat, empower yourself with relentless guitar solos, turn up the music and be as loud as you want. Lose yourself in the moment.

Speaking of letting go, music is also perfect for immersing yourself in a bit of sexual roleplay or a particularly intense BDSM session. Want to pretend you’re meeting in a bar or fancy restaurant? Make sure the music matches. How about a jungle tryst or sex on the beach? There are soundtracks for both, I can assure you. And nothing says intense dungeon setting like a leather corset, a wooden paddle, and some heavy metal melodies. With so many music services out there nowadays the only limit is your imagination.

Good Vibrations
Thankfully for all of us the sex toy industry has also been inspired by the sexual potency of music and there are multiple sex toys out there that actually buzz to the beat of your favourite tracks. OhMiBod created some of the first musical toys on the market back in 2006, with an attempt to appeal to the iPod market. Still going strong the company now produces a myriad of musical treats, most of which are compatible with smartphones and controlled via Bluetooth. These sex toys essentially vibrate in time with the user’s favourite songs and invite couples to entice each other with a variety of tunes (or their own personal favourites). Since then the market for musical sex toys has boomed and there truly is a music-based sex toy out there for everyone.

Perhaps the most notable inventions of recent years are the Lelo Siri 2 and the PicoBong Remoji line. Although the Lelo Siri 2 offers its own range of musically-inspired patterns it also has a built in microphone which essentially provides karaoke-fuelled vibrations. Users or their partner can sing in to the vibrator (or put on music nearby) and it will pick up the sound and vibrate accordingly. A novelty, for sure, but that doesn’t make it any less fun. Meanwhile the PicoBong Remoji line returns to a set soundtrack but adds gamification to its musical app—encouraging users to tap with the beat in order to turn up the vibrations. This combination of music, sex, and app culture is perhaps the most reflective approach to sex of our current generation.

Find Your Own Song
As you can probably tell by now, the possibilities when it comes to sex and music are as limitless and timeless as music itself. Googling ‘Music and sex’ you’ll often see a lot of articles recommending particular songs or playlists for the best sex session and, while this is commendable, it’s also fundamentally flawed.

One of the best things about both music and sex is that they are such personal and intimate aspects of our lives—representing who we are without pretence in a way that we can share with the world. So whatever tune you chose and whatever you do with it just make sure that it’s the right song for you. We’ve no doubt that it will strike a chord with your partner too.

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