The ultimate beginner’s guide for tantric sex

Yoga and spirituality are playing a role in a growing group of people’s lives, bringing them peace and good energies. But what if you can take this peace and energy into your sex life too? Que in: tantric sex! 

What is Tantric sex exactly?

Warning, this may get a bit airy fairy! Tantra comes from age-old yogic Indian traditions and it is much more than just physical intimacy. The spiritual, philosophical and ritual practices of traditional Tantra are practiced for spiritual growth, enlightenment and oneness. Tantric sex is about integrating your physical and spiritual self towards a heavenly, sensual experience. Forget those stereotype images of acrobatic sex positions; Tantra is about mindfulness, connection and using sexual energy to connect deeply with yourself and your partner.

Why would you want to try tantric sex?

1. To practice mindfulness:
In our busy, digital world true relaxation is scarce. Tantra can help you to tune out distractions and be fully present. To feel every touch and hear every breath, without being distracted by all kinds of messages and notifications.

2. Long-lasting sexual intercourse:
In Tantra the focus is on deep breathing and conscious movements that slowly build up arousal, leading to a prolonged sexual experience. More time to enjoy, who wouldn’t want that?

3. A deeper connection with your partner:
If you approach sex as a means to deepen your bond rather than just for a quick climax, you’ll notice that you connect with your partner at a much deeper level. Slow down, tune in and enjoy each other.

4. Dare to say yes and no:
In Tantra, you learn to listen to your body and to respect boundaries. It’s not just about giving, but about receiving too, and daring to say what you do and don’t like. This not only strengthens your self-awareness, but improves your communication and mutual respect. 

How do you start with tantric sex?

Now that you know why you want to try Tantra, let’s see how you can get started.

1. Create a serene space:
Choose a quiet, safe place. Think of soft lighting, scented candles and comfortable blankets. Go for peace and comfort.

2. Meditate together:
Sit across from each other, in lotus pose (or an adapted variation supported by pillows/blankets) that you can hold for longer, hold each other’s hands and synchronize your breathing. Close your eyes and feel the energy flowing between you. Visualize your energies merging into each other.

3. Eye contact is key:
Stay in lotus pose/cross-legged position and practice prolonged eye contact. This may feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but looking deeply into each other’s eyes can create a deep, intimate connection.

4. Make a heart-to-heart connection:
Place your left hand on your heart and your right hand on your partner’s heart, and your partner can mirror you. Feel their heartbeat and let the energy flow between you.

5. Preparing for foreplay:
Tantric foreplay goes beyond the physical. Try the following ideas to build up arousal:

• Full body massage: Use oil and massage each other slowly and sensually.
• Tantric touch: Caress and stroke each other all over with attention.
• Conscious kissing: Take your time for some long, slow kissing.
• Energetic touch: Hold your hand just above your partner’s skin and feel the energy.

6. Try the yab-yum position:
One of the classics in Tantra. One of you sits in lotus pose/cross-legged position and the  other on their lap, facing each other. This position is perfect for deep breathing and intimate kissing.

Safety and comfort first

Remember that Tantra is about connection, not about achieving. Listen to you and your partner’s body, and make sure that you are both comfortable. Don’t force yourself, so if something doesn’t feel right, you can adjust your position or try something else.

Cherish and enjoy each other!