Man and woman in bed

How to Use Sex Toys During Penetrative Sex

Everything you were afraid to ask!

Sex toys can be incorporated into the bedroom in many different ways. Often, people think that they are just used for solo-sex, but we’re here to tell you that they can be great during partnered sex too! In fact, we often use them during partnered sex, and this has allowed both of us to orgasm from PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex.

Throughout our sex-related writing career, we’ve had many folks ask us about how we use sex toys during penetration. It’s not something that is often discussed, so of course, we want to talk about it! Here are ways to incorporate sex toys during penetrative sex.

1. Warm Up

While this doesn’t necessitate any penetration, using a sex toy prior to penetration can be beneficial. We personally enjoy doing this before most sessions. If it is a long session, then we like to incorporate toys before, during, and (sometimes) after penetration. It adds variety and provides some really great feelings. If we’re planning on having a short session, then sex toys can really help warm us up. Having a quickie without proper warm up can sometimes hurt, so the addition of a sex toy can remove that risk. It doesn’t matter what type of sex toy you use, as long as you’re enjoying it!

2. The Sex

Most sexual positions can accommodate at least one sex toy. If there is penetrative sex, you can often find space for a vibrator on the clitoris, whether it is vaginal or anal penetration. I personally find that anal sex is significantly easier and more enjoyable when I have a vibrator pressed against my vulva.

You can also use toys to double-penetrate if that is something you are interested in. You can use any combination of penises and dildos. Adding a vibrator can have a pretty nice effect too!

The ability to use toys can depend on the sexual position. It will be harder to double penetrate if your bum is squished into the mattress, just like it will be harder to stimulate the clitoris if your bodies are pressed together.

When using sex toys, it is totally up to you who will hold it. It might be easier for you to hold a vibrator or it might be easier for your partner to control a dildo. Together, you should aim to discover what works the best.

3. Positions

Certain positions cater more towards incorporating a sex toy. Any position that involves penetration from behind (doggie style, spooning, etc) can be a great way to create space to hold a vibrator against your vulva. Positions where you are leaning forward (doggie style, reverse cow girl) can be ideal for double penetration.

Our favourite position for incorporating sex toys involves the edge of a bed. If the “receiver” lies down on the end of the bed, the “giver” can stand on the floor. This provides the most amount of space for any size vibrator.

4. Different Toys

We’ve spoken a lot about vibrators and dildos, but there are certain toys out there that are designed specifically for PIV intercourse. While you can absolutely use your regular vibrators, wands or dildos, it might be fun to try out other types of toys too!

There are certain companies like We-Vibe that make vibrators for heterosexual couples. The We-Vibe Sync is inserted into the vagina but wraps around in a way that allows the partners to both enjoy the vibrations.

A simpler version of a “couple’s toy” is a vibrating cock ring. The cock ring will provide the wearer with a harder erection and the vibrating piece will provide clit stimulation. Cock rings can be tricky, depending on all anatomies involved. All bodies are different, so it might take a while to find a perfect fit.

As always, if something doesn’t work for you, it is totally okay! All bodies are different and everyone experiences pleasure differently, too! Let us know how you use sex toys during penetration – we’re curious to find out!

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