Sex while in a space that isn’t wholly your own can be a challenge. 

Maybe you’re a student at Uni living in a communal building, maybe you’re a big business individual in an equally big city which means you live in a small, shared space, or maybe you’re a young adult living with family members in order to get a solid foundation for life. 

Whatever the reason Is for living with others it’s worth acknowledging that doing so presents certain…obstacles when it comes to having a satisfying sex life (be that self lovin’ or lovin’ with others). 

Thankfully, there are things that you can do in order to make cohabitation a little less of an issue when it comes to your sex life. 

#1 Be Mindful of Individual Spaces

If you’re in a communal living area then the most important thing you need to consider is what is and isn’t a communal space; not just in terms of ‘getting caught’ and having your mood killed but also out of mutual respect for the people you share your home with. 

Yes, the idea of having a “We could get caught” session in the communal kitchen might sound thrilling, but the reality is someone you have to live with for months/years finding you flopping over each other on the table that you might soon be sharing a meal at. Awkward.

It’s also a mentally jarring experience for all involved, so know thy space. 

Set a strong rule that you only have sex in areas that you know are wholly yours or in spaces that are outside of the communal living home and therefore outside of all involvement with it. 

This may mean that occasionally you book a hotel to engage in a sexual shower fantasy or something, for example, but trust us when we say it’s worth it. 

#2 Utilize Sound Buffers

Music, white noise makes, the radio, a movie; anything noisy that can obscure the noises you make while enjoying yourself is a must. 

Of course, you’ll want to try and make this complimentary to what you’re doing but you’ll also not want to be too obvious either. Blasting an overtly “I’m having sex” soundtrack can sometimes be more obvious then the occasional subtle grunt.

Volume is important in all aspects of cohabited sex, though. Be quiet in your interactions but also be mindful of the volume of whatever you use to try and disguise your actions. 

Remember: The goal is to buffer the noises that you might make, not to add excessive noise so that you can be louder (or have things playing louder). Sound is a strategic game. 

#3 Invest in a Good Wedge

No matter how sure you are that you locked your door, sod’s law says that the one time you get it on is the one time where it slipped your mind and a room mate or guardian barges in. So invest in a wedge.

Not only will a good wedge stop people from getting in if you have forgotten to lock your door, it’s also a much more noticeable mental trigger to make you certain that you’ve secured your sexual experiences in a very clear way. 

Cover your ass so that people don’t walk in to see it exposed. 

#4 Communicate (Verbally and Non-Verbally)

As much as you might want to be discreet about when you have sex, sometimes it pays to keep people in the know. 

Most roommates are understanding of the fact that you will have partners in your life and that typically involves sex. Giving people that you live with a verbal head’s up gives them the choice to be considerate and avoids any unwanted surprises for either of you. 

Sometimes a non-verbal means of communication can be good too, especially if your cohabiting partners are respectful.

Whether it’s a hat, a hairband, or something else, putting something on your bedroom door to dictate sex will allow your house mates to know the situation and to act according to their preferences as well as your wishes. 

It’s a win-win under the right circumstances. 

And, finally…

#5 Consider Position and Placement

Logistically, some positions and places will be louder than others. A bed might squeak, or you might moan more when your partner (or you) hits that spot. 

If you know this is an issue and that you want to keep whisper quiet, then opt for positions and places that are less likely to cause noise. 

Sex on the floor can be quieter than sex on the bed, for example and sex pinned up against the wall closest to your house mate’s own room is probably not quite right in terms of discretion. 

Considering these elements comes with the bonus of making you think creatively about sex, which can’t be a bad thing in the long run. 

Final Thoughts

 A cohabiting sex life is a considerate one and that can be frustrating, but it doesn’t have to be. 

Follow these steps and you’ll suddenly find that living with others is less a hindrance to sex and more of an invitation to a different kind of sexual lifestyle.