What if the best sex of your life isn’t with your current partner?

What if the best sex of your life isn’t with your current partner?

By Janna, 02.03.2023

Some people are just very lucky. They have a dream partner who is also fantastic in bed. But what if you’ve found that dream partner, but you actually think the sex could be better? Remember: there is no immediate reason to panic. This happens more often than you might think, and you are certainly not alone. Thankfully, lust is a bit easier to direct than love. We’ll guide you with a few tips.

Short reality check

Let’s start with pointing out that at the beginning of your relationship things were probably a lot more exciting between the sheets than after a few years, when the excitement has mostly subsided. Does this bother you? Then there are three options: you can make the very drastic choice of leaving your lover to find someone you level with completely sex-wise. You can also choose to accept that things aren’t what they used to be, but that the love is more than enough for you. Or, and of course we recommend this option, you discuss things with your lover and ensure that you rekindle the fire in no time. 

Communication is key

It’s probably not the first time you’ve heard this, but communication may well be the most important aspect of your relationship, no matter what. So also on a sexual level. Does that make you tense? No worries, because you can learn to communicate about this. Start slowly and reminisce about a memory of when you were young and still going at it without inhibitions. Ask your partner which passionate moment they won’t forget and try to feel the spice of that time again. If you think it’s just too hard to start a conversation about this, then find a way to show that you want to make an effort to have the best sex ever together (again). Take a look at an (online) sex shop and find a toy or outfit that turns you on and surprise your partner with it.

It’s not like with that other person

Can you still vividly picture the best and hottest sex of your life, but isn’t it with your current partner? That might seem like a painful situation at first, but there’s still no reason to panic here. Try to recall why that one time was so special for you. You may remember certain tricks or actions you can show your current partner to upgrade your sex life.

And to get back to that reality check: a memory is often better than reality. In your mind, you’ve probably romanticized that moment or that other person, adding a little more every time you fantasize about it. Circumstances also play a major part in the way you experienced a moment. Maybe you were a little tipsy during that life-changing sex, or you hadn’t had any in a while. A memory is not always completely reliable. So try to stay open to new experiences and hot new memories with your current partner. Playfully maintain your loving connection, and also don’t forget to appreciate the positive aspects of your sex life.

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