How to discuss and organize a threesome with your partner

A thrilling fantasy for some, a complicated subject for others to broach in a relationship. But how do you go about bringing this up? And, more importantly, how can you ensure that everyone feels comfortable with it? 

Step 1: open communication

Before you even start thinking about the practical side of a threesome, it is essential to have an honest and open conversation with your partner. This is not a subject to introduce casually; choose a time where you are both relaxed and open to a serious conversation. Start by asking their opinion about threesomes in general, without immediately expressing your own desires. This gives you an idea of how they feel about it, without pressure.

Step 2: be clear about your intentions

When your partner indicates that they are open to the possibility of a threesome, make sure to be clear about your intentions. Why do you want to try a threesome? Out of curiosity, for adventure, or to explore something specific in your sex life? By honestly discussing your desires and motives, you avoid misunderstanding and make sure that you are on the same wavelength. This way it can be a shared experience, making everyone feel heard and respected.

Step 3: set clear boundaries and expectations

A trio can quickly become complicated if clear boundaries have not been set beforehand. Talk to your partner about what you do and do not like. Are there any specific actions that are off-limits? How do you want to deal with jealousy or unexpected feelings that may arise? To avoid unpleasant surprises, it’s essential to discuss these things beforehand. Also set realistic expectations: a threesome can be fun and thrilling, but it can also evoke emotions that you hadn’t anticipated.

Step 4: finding the right third person

The next step is finding the right third person. This could be a friend or someone you meet through an app or dating site. Make sure that you both agree about the choice and that this third person is fully aware of both your boundaries and expectations. Be transparent and respectful to everyone involved. This ensures a smooth and pleasant experience for all.

Step 5: organize the experience carefully

Once you’ve found a third person, it’s time to plan the experience. Choose a location where everyone feels safe and comfortable. This could be at home, but also a neutral place like a hotel. Make sure that there is no time pressure and that everyone can relax. Let fun and comfort be paramount—that way you create an experience that’s satisfying for all.

Step 6: debrief and reflection

After the threesome it’s essential to share your experiences. How did everyone feel during and after the session? Are there things you would like to do differently next time? This is the time to be open about your feelings, so that you can address any negative emotions right away. Reflecting on the experience not only helps to reduce any tensions, but also strengthens the bond with your partner.