Why your phone secretly ruins your sex life

We sleep with it, have breakfast with it and even take it to the bathroom. Our phone is everywhere. Convenient, but also treacherous. Because as great as the device may be, it can slowly but surely kill your sex life. And you probably don’t even notice.

Destraction instead of attention

A phone seems innocent, but it’s a master of distraction. You’re in bed scrolling on Instagram or quickly responding to that one text, and before you know it your partner lies next to you with a look saying: hello, do you still see me? And the tricky thing is… when you do it yourself, you don’t really notice it, while you notice it right away when your partner does it. The moments that used to be filled with chatting, flirting or playful touches, silently disappear in the endless stream of notifications.

Less spontaneity

Phones are real mood killers in bed. You think you’ll just watch a video for a few minutes, but the half hour you would usually spend cuddling or making love slips away just like that. The problem isn’t that you don’t feel like it, but that your brain is already so full that there’s no space left for spontaneity. And poof… that intimate moment is gone.

A barrier in the bedroom

A phone closes you off from the world for a moment. That sounds attractive after a busy day, but it also closes you off from the person lying next to you. The soft light of the screen feels like a wall between you and your partner. Sex is about presence, and a phone takes you away from just that.

Worse sleep, less energy

Screen time right before bedtime affects your quality of sleep. The blue light keeps your brain awake, making you fall into a less deep sleep and wake up more tired. And let’s be honest: if you’re exhausted, you probably don’t have the energy for a wild romp. It’s that simple.

How to turn it around?

• Let your bedroom be a playground, not an office
  When your phone goes out the door, suddenly there’s time for kissing, caressing and teasing. Much more fun than checking your e-mail one more time.

• Only sexy use of your phone
  Of course, watching porn together is a great example of fun phone use. Tip: take a subscription to Dusk, then you’re assured of good porna to watch together.

• Snooze notifications
  Want to make it even easier? Set your phone to night mode so incoming calls and notifications are muted. That way, you don’t have to check constantly and you can focus on each other.

• Make a game of it
  Agree that the person who does reach for their phone, treats the other to a massage. That way, a “mistake” suddenly becomes a win-win for both of you.

Lastly

Although convenient, your phone is no substitute for real intimacy. Less screen time means more time for touch, spontaneity and sex that truly connects. Have you seen the light, but your partner hasn’t yet? Just forward them this article.