One year itch

One year itch

By Janna, 13.11.2023

The one year itch is a phenomenon which happens in a lot of relationships. After the first year of intense infatuation, the rose-colored glasses fade and couples start to wonder whether their relationship still meets their expectations and whether this is really what they want. This moment of doubt is familiar for many people and absolutely no reason to panic.

The honeymoon period

The first months of a relationship are often characterized by what is referred to as the honeymoon phase. Infatuation is most intense during the first months of a relationship. Everything is new and exciting and you want to be together all the time. But in many relationships this all diminishes after a year, after which the relationship enters a more stable and realistic phase.

Why after a year?

After a year, couples have gone through all seasons together. They got to know each other in different contexts, from sunny summer days to dark winter evenings. By that time, you know how your partner behaves in almost any kind of situation, so you know exactly what to expect and where you stand with each other. On the one hand, this is reassuring, but on the other hand it also means that it may not get any better than this.

Normal doubts

It’s completely normal to have doubts a year into the relationship. This doesn’t mean that the love is gone, but rather that the relationship is growing and developing. It’s an opportunity to reflect on what’s going well and in which respects there’s room for growth and improvement. A little doubt really doesn’t mean that the relationship is bad. So no reason to panic.

Communication and growth

Use the one year itch to talk to your partner. It’s important to discuss expectations and desires with each other and to work on the future of the relationship together. Small irritations or doubts can very easily be resolved by discussing things together. 

From one year itch to life-long relationship; 5 tips

1. Be honest: Be honest to yourself and to your partner about your feelings and doubts. Address what’s bothering you and look for solutions together.

2. Keep investing: Continue to put effort into your relationship, also after the first year. Make time for each other and show interest in each other.

3. Try new things: The novelty of the relationship has worn off by now, but that doesn’t mean to say you can’t make any new memories together anymore.

4. Listen to each other: Take the time to listen to each other’s needs and wishes.

5. Appreciate each other: Don’t just focus on what isn’t going well, but also don’t forget about everything you appreciate and like about your partner. You fell for each other for a reason, right? It’s good to remember and value those traits.

If you take these tips to heart, keep the different ‘seasons’ in your relationships open for discussion and both keep involved, you can maintain and deepen the connection in your relationship.

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