Arranging sex via a dating app

Where do you go and how do you handle it without hassle

You want to date, but you’re not looking for a relationship. No conversations about future plans, no labels, no expectations. You want excitement, attraction and someone you can just have good sex with without any hassle. And yes, in that case you automatically end up on dating apps.

But… how do you make sure you don’t spend weeks chatting with someone who is ultimately just looking for a hiking buddy? How do you arrange sex without coming across as someone who desperately swipes on everything that moves? Time for some no-nonsense guidelines.

Where should you go?

There are apps for love, apps for butterflies, apps for eternal talkers … but also apps you can go to for a mature hookup with mutual intention:

• Tinder remains the biggest pool for hookups. Not because everyone’s on there for sex, but because there are so many people that you’ll always find matches who are exactly looking for your vibe. Playful, direct and quick communication works best there.

• Bumble works surprisingly well for those open to casual sex. Conversations often start off a bit more civilized, but once you connect, the pace can quickly shift from “how was your day” to “when can I see you”.

• Feeld is a paradise for anyone who wants sex without shame. Hookups, threesomes, kinky dates, no strings attached, everything. Here, you don’t have to hide anything. Everyone’s there for fun without fuss.

• Badoo is underrated, but is actually one of the most direct apps. People are more likely to move towards meeting up than to engage in endless small talk.

• Happn is ideal if you live in the city and appreciate that your matches are literally walking around your neighborhood. Instant chemistry and often quick hookups.

And for pure hit and run hookups, there are specific platforms like MySecretDate, where no one pretends to be looking for love.

How do you go about it?

You don’t arrange casual sex by being blunt, but by being clear. Start with your profile. No flashy photos, no half-naked clichés. Choose photos that show you are relaxed. People decide within a second whether you’re ‘date-worthy’ or ‘hookup-worthy’, so set the right vibe.

In your bio, you don’t literally have to write that you’re looking for sex. It’s only counterproductive and attracts the wrong people. Keep it simple, short and just suggestive enough. A phrase like “Open to adventure” or “Here for fun” says more than three paragraphs of explanation ever will. Anyone looking for something exciting will get that right away.

In the chat, direct energy works better than getting stuck in boring conversations. A few lines that effortlessly lead to a real-life meeting without cringe:

“You’re attractive. Want to go for drinks soon?”
“I like your vibe. When are you free?”

If someone stays vague, you know enough. Casual sex only works if you’re both looking for exactly the same thing.

Once you start talking to someone you build tension by suggesting, not by pushing. A sentence like “I love people who know what they want” already says more than any explicit message. Mature, sexy and clear.

Finally

Arranging sex through a dating app is not rocket science. It’s about timing, chemistry and being clear about your intentions. Choose the right app, steer the conversation smoothly in the right direction and don’t feel guilty swiping away anyone who wants to turn it into a chat relationship. The right match will pick up on your energy immediately.