7 myths about BDSM

BDSM is an intriguing world of power, control and pleasure, which is often clouded by misconceptions. Let’s dispel seven persistent myths about BDSM and provide a deeper understanding of this complex and fascinating form of human sexuality.

BDSM includes three major components, outlined by Michael Aaron. First of all, there is BD, or bondage and discipline, focused on activities like tying up and imposing of rules with accompanying punishments. Then we have DS, dominance and submission, with an emphasis on power dynamics with one person controlling the other, both physically and emotionally. Finally, there is SM, sadism (enjoyment of inflicting pain) and masochism (enjoyment of receiving pain).

Now, let’s dive into seven common misconceptions about BDSM:

1. Myth: BDSM is a niche which few people are interested in. Many people think that only a small minority embraces BDSM. However, research shows that a significant part of the population is interested in aspects like dominance, submission, and bondage. So, it’s much more common than expected.
2. Myth: BDSM always revolves around sex. Although sex can play a role in it, BDSM does not necessarily have to be sexual. For some it’s more about the dynamics of power and control, separate from sexual acts.
3. Myth: BDSM-fans are easily identifiable. BDSM-fans come in all shapes and sizes, including seemingly very conservative people. BDSM involvement offers them an outlet for exploring different personality aspects.
4. Myth: People who are into BDSM, often have problematic backgrounds. There’s a widespread misconception that people’s involvement with BDSM has to do with their past traumatic experiences. However, research has shown that generally BDSM practitioners are just as healthy mentally, if not healthier, than non-practitioners.
5. Myth: The dominant person is always in control. In a healthy BDSM-scene, the sub(missive person) is actually in control because they can use their safeword at any time to stop the activity, thereby ensuring the safety and comfort of both partners.
6. Myth: BDSM is dangerous. The BDSM community actually attaches great value to physical and emotional safety. Discussions about consent are crucial, with principles like SSC (Safe, Sane, Consensual) emphasizing that safety comes first.
7. Myth: BDSM is emotionally damaging. When properly practiced, BDSM can be just the opposite. It is often used as a healing tool for couples who are not used to kinky activities, and can be especially helpful for people struggling with control and power dynamics.

The sexual practice of BDSM not only offers an exciting opportunity to try new things in the bedroom, but can also create a deeper emotional connection between partners. By experimenting with power dynamics in a safe environment, couples learn to openly communicate their needs, desires and boundaries. This does not only fuel passion between the sheets, but can also have a positive impact on other aspects in the relationship. It is a powerful tool for partners to discover how they can support each other and strengthen their bond, so they can grow and flourish together, both in and outside the bedroom.