Romance, Poetry, and Sexual Desire

Love poems have been with us since the very formation of early human culture. Even the Bible contains a love poem, The Song of Songs, dated to about the 6^th-3^rd centuries BCE (given translation). Earlier still, The Love Song for Shu-Sin was believed to be written in c.2000 BCE and was found on a cuneiform tablet and recounted the tale of a king marrying a goddess. Seems we’ve been using tablets to court each other for a very long time. 

Romance Authored

Jokes aside, the potency of poetry for expressing feelings of romance is nothing to laugh at. Research done via the use of functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI) has found that our brains react differently to things when they are structured as a poem. Rhyme and rhythm triggers areas of our brain that don’t respond to ordinary speech or prose patterning the create a response that seems more meaningful and indicative of reality. 

This is why the ‘rhyme as reason’ effect is so potent. Also known as the ‘Eaton-Rosen phenomenon,’ people have been shown to have a cognitive bias to statements when they are written in rhyme. You’ve probably experienced this yourself in little sayings or old housewives tales, which are often presented as a rhyme for this very reason. 

Romantic poetry, therefore, is seen as a much more sincere and meaningful form of romance. We internalize the words said to us and our brains are much more likely to accept it as sincere then if any other form of communication is used. 

The chances are that anyone who has taken the time to make a poem for someone has also put in a lot more consideration, in order to get the structure of the poem down while also trying to convey their romantic feelings. 

Random Facts of Romantic Poetry

Poems aren’t just interesting because of the conviction they convey in their romantic disclosure, however. There is a lot of intricacies to writing romantic poetry that can be interesting to consider. 

For example, it is generally recognised that some languages are considered to be psychologically more ‘romantic’ than others. These ‘romance languages’ tend to be any that are closer to a Latin origin and are therefore more mellifluous in nature. 

However, when it comes to poetry sociologists and linguists have found that the English language has been shown as preferable for romantic poetry. Why is this? It all comes down to diversity. 

The English language, compared to some, is one that is very expansive and varied in nature but often highly underutilized. Conventionally, English speakers only use a fraction of the many words accessible to them, mainly for convenience. The result of this, though, is that when someone writes a love poem they suddenly begin to explore and open up to many of those underutilized words and the resulting product seems much more striking, creative, and though-provoking. 

No matter the poem, however, human psychology also favours emotive language when it comes to poetry. Poems delivered in a dry manner, or with very little creative passion to them, tend to fall on flat ears and trigger only a minimal amount of the brain. Poems that evoke sensuality, emotion, and desire (in both written form and verbal delivery) set the brain ablaze with all sorts of chemical and neurological reactions, and are much more likely to trigger a sexual response. 

These facts are very important to consider if you’re planning on making use of poetry in your own romantic endeavours. 

Writing a Love Poem

So how does one write a love poem? It’s a simple question but, obviously, one with a very complex answer. 

The best response is (obviously) from a place of honesty and vulnerability. As we mentioned above, if your poem isn’t injected with a certain amount of passion then the response you get won’t be a passionate one. Write from the heart, however, and you’ll be doing yourself (and your partner/s) much more justice. 

The actual steps of poetry writing are a tad more structured:

1. Themes: First you’ll want to think of a particular theme for your poem. Is it the feelings that you have for that person? An encounter that has stuck in your mind? A hypothetical scenario that you would love to share in with them? A celebration of a certain event? Get the rough theme of your poem in place before even thinking of starting, otherwise it will be hard to put pen to paper. 
2. Ideas: Working off your theme, brainstorm any ideas or words that spring to mind. It’s better here to focus on feelings relating to the theme, comparisons that you can make, the life you share together, and the impact they’ve had on you.
3. Structure: Once you have your ideas jotted down it’s time to decide how to structure them. Poems come in all different shapes and sizes so it would be wise to look at some common structures used by poets. Rhyming, as we’ve said, is always a good go-to, but there will be variation there too.
4. Tone & Delivery: Are you planning on giving your poem to someone in the written form or reading it to them? These two methods will dictate how you convey your tone and delivery so try to be mindful of them when you write. If you’re going to read it aloud them practice doing so as you write, then practice again many times afterwards. Allow yourself to feel the poem and you can be sure others will feel it too.
5. Make The Leap: No poem will ever be perfect but, ultimately, the fact that you have put in the thought and consideration to make one will convey a certain degree of romance no matter what.

Be confident with your poem, your feelings, and yourself. After all, the psychology of romance is on your side.