Fuck Buddies: What You Need To Know About Friends With Benefits

Fuck Buddies: What You Need To Know About Friends With Benefits

By Emmeline Peaches, 19.03.2020

For some it’s the ideal relationship. You meet someone you like. Either they’re physically attractive or you just ‘get each other’ or both. Neither of you want a relationship, but you both want sex and you’re happy to share in that mutual desire.

What Is A ‘Fuck Buddy’?

A ‘Fuck Buddy’, otherwise known as a ‘friend with benefits’ is someone that you regularly have sex with without the obligation or expectation of being in an emotional or romantic relationship. There’s still a lot of judgement and criticism around friends with benefits in the mainstream, but before getting to critical it’s worth reminding yourself that people can enter in to these relationships for various different reasons.

Perhaps work is a huge priority for some individuals, and they simply want to have a carnal partner without the need to maintain a full-time relationship commitment (which they know they’re ill-equipped to provide). Perhaps someone is struggling through some personal issues (maybe a break-up, maybe something else) and they want to use sex to help heal (just like any other hobby) and they’ve found someone mutually willing to do so.

Or perhaps sex is just fun and some people would rather enjoy sex without having to engage with society’s expectations. Sex doesn’t require validation or permission from anyone except for those involved (in which case consent is everything).

Is a Fuck Buddy Right For Me?

All that being said, it is still important to go about getting a fuck buddy in the right way (and, yes, there is a right and wrong way to go about this). Before you find yourself a friend with benefits (or take advantage of a friend who is already willing) it’s worth pausing and asking yourself why you want this type of relationship. Sit yourself down, write out what ‘fuck buddy’ means for you and weight out the pros and cons. Don’t be afraid to play devil’s advocate with yourself here.

Fuck buddies aren’t always the right way to go and it pays to remind yourself of the potential downsides as well as all of those bonuses which are, no doubt, pre-occupying your thoughts. Ponder over what you’ve jotted down and factor it in to your final verdict. Remember—this isn’t just about protecting your own well-being but about protecting the potentially one or more individuals that you’re considering hooking up with. Clarity is everything when it comes to friends with benefits.

The Importance of Clear Boundaries

There’s another good reason to write down this list too—it’s the perfect thing to present your fuck buddy with before you embark upon your fucktastic adventures together. Just as it’s important for you to consider your reasons for wanting this sort of relationship, it’s also important that your fuck buddy considers the same thing and that you talk openly and honestly about your own desires and aspiration. Because, yes—having a ‘fuck buddy’ does still count as having a relationship, just not a conventional romantic, sexual, and emotional relationship.

The best way to prevent any confusion or desires for ‘more’ down the line is to make your boundaries abundantly clear from the get-go. Make sure you’re on the same page before you do anything together (or very soon after that first impulsive fuck, if necessary).

Check In Regularly

This communication must be ongoing to, in order to make sure your expectations from each other are still consistent and your needs are being met. Human aren’t robots—we can’t just turn off our feeling and sometimes emotions do develop. If this happens to you then be gentle with yourself—it wasn’t Just because sex is the main drive of your relationship doesn’t mean there won’t be time to talk, and post-sex can present some good opportunities for snuggling and talking. During this time feel free to talk about how you think things are going every now and then, and confess if things are becoming difficult for you. Do so with respect and compassion and never dismiss your partner’s needs (even if they don’t meet your own). Remember: You’re in a relationship to support each other, take advantage of that.

Enjoy Your Encounters

All that being said it pays to remember one thing: Having a friends with benefits can be fucking awesome (literally). Take the time to really enjoy each other’s company and relish the physical sensations and internal rush that you get from being with each other. Not every encounter needs to be brief either. If your boundaries are clear then there’s nothing wrong with spending an entire day together having sex, or perhaps even going somewhere special to hook up. Extended fuck sessions can sometimes be exactly what is needed to scratch your mutual itches.

Of course not every sex session will be a phenomenal experience but that’s another benefit of having a fuck buddy—there should be no strong expectations so if you have a bad time then shrug it off and remember that there’s always next time.

And That’s All For Now!

Fuck buddy relationships can be as complicated as any other relationship, but they can also be just as rewarding too. With the above tips you’ll be in a strong position to lay the groundworks for a successful fuck buddy situation, but remember that every situation is different and it pays to give your partner the attention and personal touch that they deserve.

Society may not have your back in every instance but at Dusk we’re 100% behind your life choices. So grab yourself a fuck buddy and go nuts! We’ll bring the porn, you bring yourself and let’s see where things take us.

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