Friends with benefits or a friendship getting romantic?

Friends with benefits or a friendship getting romantic?

By Eva, 04.11.2021

You must have a close friend that means the world to you, someone who comforts you when you’re down, who sheds tears of laughter when you make a joke, the one who knows just what to say or do to lift you up. They are the first you call when you want to go out, or even when you want to stay in. You just complete each other. 

But what if you start to have romantic feelings? Thinking about your favorite person as more than just a friend? It could happen. It will keep you from falling asleep. And one morning you wake up from a steamy dream, starring you two in the lead, being much more than only friends. 

What’s happening?

It’s important to thoroughly analyze your feelings before you say or do something that will ruin the friendship. But how? Start by taking some time to really think about it, what are you feeling exactly? Is this something you’ve felt before? Or does that pizza delivery person look attractive too? So, to the point: is this really about them, or do you just feel like getting it on with somebody? 

If you want to find out if this is really about your friend you can ask yourselves these questions:

  • Do you have romantic/ sexual dreams about your friend?
  • Have you noticed thinking about them more than you normally do?
  • Do you take more time prepping your looks when you meet them? 
  • Are there butterflies in your stomach when you think of them? 
  • Are you more fun than usual when you meet?

Have you answered more than 4 questions with ‘yes’ ? This might be more…

How to be lovers or friends with benefits

Before you grab your phone and let your friend know, take some time to think about what you want out of this. A romantic weekend? Travelling the world together? Do you want to start a family or just have steamy sex? 

Sexual longing and friendship

If you both share the same (sexual) thoughts and feelings, a friends with benefits ‘thing’ is the way to go. Being friends and fuckbuddies, but with no high expectations in the future. Being clear about that can really save you some trouble. If your relationship gets more serious, the expectations can get higher too. 

Mutual love in friendship

Are your romantic feelings mutual? Prepare to go on a romantic adventure! You already know each other so well, but your bodies are still unfamiliar territories. Time for romantic discoveries! It might be a bit uncomfortable when you start. But the tension must be crazy since you’ve been longing for each other for such a long time. 

When is it a romantic relationship?

Please note that it takes time to evolve your friendship into an official romance. The good news is that most romances start off as friendships. Being friends is a solid base. Love at first sight is no guarantee for a great romantic relationship. Love is amazing, and like friendships, it can keep growing and evolving. 

Speak out 

If you are sure this is real we advise you to speak out! It doesn’t matter if it’s thousands of butterflies filling your stomach with love or if it’s just deliciously raw lust. Letting them know how you feel is the way to go. It’s scary, we know, you don’t want to lose the good friendship you have, you love them. But to save yourself the heartbreak ( what if they meet and date someone else?) we urge you to come clean. If it isn’t mutual, you will cope, because the feelings you have are real, they won’t go away when you pretend nothing changed. Good luck! 

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