When Sex and Porn Meet
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When Sex and Porn Meet

By Emmeline Peaches, 13.02.2020

Porn gets a bad reputation when it comes to sex.

Not solo sex, obviously – in that regard it does amazingly well – but when it comes to sex between two or more individuals? Not so much. 

On the surface this might seem understandable. A lot of people feel threatened by the idea of a sexual partner finding arousal in sexual activities or someone else that is not them. They might also feel that the use of porn means they are not meeting their partner’s needs or that they aren’t supplying them with something that porn somehow is. 

Fear and apprehension are part of the human condition and, sadly, when it comes to something such as sex these emotions can often become amplified. But porn does not have to be the kinky elephant in the room of a couple’s sex life. On the contrary, when sex and porn meet things can actually become better in the bedroom. 

How is this possible? There are a few ways…

Porn Increases Sexual Satisfaction

While the general view of porn is that it might indicate dissatisfaction in one’s sex life the science says otherwise. 

In a survey of 688 Danish adults, researchers Gert Hald and Neil Malamuth found that porn had an overall positive impact on people’s sex lives as well as on other aspects of their lives too.

Chief among the findings was that pornography actually led to individuals finding their sex lives much more satisfying, with men yielding the most benefits from the consumption of porn. 

Now, this could be a case of male biology coming in to play or it could be indicative of the fact that men are statistically more likely to view pornography. 

Either way porn comes out on tops when it comes to boosting sexual satisfaction.

Not only that but the study found that the more you consume porn the greater the return of sexual satisfaction. Quite the myth buster, if we do say so ourselves. 

Pornography Can Enhance Pleasure Awareness

Masturbation is an important part of getting to know ourselves better and even those in relationships masturbate. To be precise Kinsey found that 40% of men and 30% of women in relationships masturbate and Erin Flaherty found through survey results that 70-95% of all adult men and women are in to some solo lovin’.

In this endeavour porn is considered to have additional benefits for arousal, fulfilling sexual fantasies, and improving positive self-exploration. 

The best way to help a partner to understand your body and how to make it moan is to know how to stimulate it yourself, so the knock-on effect on porn’s masturbation-enhancing elements can easily translate in to more precise and arousing times in the bedroom. 

It’s A Stress Reliever

We all know that sex is much more likely to be gratifying (and to happen) if we are in a relaxed, happy, and open mindset. Well porn might just be the key to obtaining this state of mind. 

In a study by J. David Creswell, Ph.D, individuals were shown soft core pornography images while their brain levels were being monitored. The findings showed that looking at such images decreased cortisol levels in the body. Cortisol is the hormone that our bodies produce when they are under stress and so reducing it leaves us feeling much more at ease with ourselves and more sexually receptive. Creswell’s hormonal findings were backed up by the participant’s responses, as those who viewed the images said they felt much less stressed after seeing the images. 

So, if a lack of relaxation is plaguing your love life then the inclusion of porn might be just what you need. 

But How Does One Integrate Porn In To A Relationship?

This is the important part. Especially seeing as most of the benefits and relationship satisfaction of porn are negated if the activity is done in a secretive or shame-filled manner. 

Here are a few of our suggestions:

-Always keep fields of communication open about porn and make it clear that porn is something that does not impact your relationship negatively. If porn secrecy is a relationship killer then porn communication is absolutely the cure. Without the pressure of shame or judgement associated with porn all individuals in a relationship can feel free to explore it, won’t try to hide it, and will thus be able to reap its benefits without drifting further apart. 

-Watch porn together! Relationship satisfaction has been shown to have an increase when porn is consumed as a couple. This might seem strange at first, or even need an adjustment period, but consuming porn together allows you to get satisfaction from it as well as from each other. It’s a win-win in terms of sexual enjoyment. 

-Use porn as a tool to discuss each other’s kinks and preferences. Much like movies are to real life, porn is a fantasy but discussions around what that fantasy means to you can lead to interesting conversations and help you get to know each other a bit more. Plus you can always steal a few ideas from it if you wish. 

-If you’re feeling really daring then why not try to make your own porn and become that stars of your own show? Sure, there’s a learning curve, but the thrill of entering in to your own personal realm of pornography can be incredibly rewarding. 

So There You Have It!

While puritans might pucker at the premise of porn, those who embrace it are of having the time of their lives, together as well as individually. 

So, don’t fear porn – embrace it! You might just find it’s the next big thrill in your love life and relationship.

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