Dirty talk for beginners: how to

Dirty talk sounds exciting. And it is. But for many people it also feels awkward. What do you say? When do you say something? And how do you avoid sounding too forced. The good news. Dirty talk isn’t a play or a porn movie. It’s simply saying out loud what you feel, think or want while your body is already in the right mode. Here’s dirty talk for beginners. Practical, direct and ready to use right away.

What dirty talk really is

Dirty talk isn’t about shocking words or extreme sentences. It’s about attention. Being present in what’s happening. Saying out loud what you feel, what turns you on and what you want to do with the other person. Completely in tune with the moment.

If you try to sound sexy, it will often sound fake. Saying what’s going through your body right now, touches the other person exactly where it gets hot. Because it’s exciting to hear what the other person feels. What their touch does to you. What you trigger. That desire becomes audible, which makes it even more arousing for the other person.

Start by describing

The easiest way to start is by describing what you see and feel. That gets you out of your mind and into your body. Phrases that almost always work:
I love the way you’re looking at me.
This feels good.
I want you closer.
This makes me so hot.

You don’t have to make anything up. Just describe what’s already happening. 

Use the here and now

Dirty talk works best in the moment. Don’t think ahead. Don’t analyze. Say what you feel now. Examples:
Stay like this.
Go on.
Touch me there.
Hold on.

Short phrases are powerful. They guide. They slow things down or speed things up. And they make it clear that you’re there, in the moment.

Make it personal

General phrases are okay. Personal phrases are hotter. Use your partner’s name. Or a nickname that only you two are familiar with. This could also be risky for some, if you know what we mean. Phrases that are more direct:
I want you.
I want how you touch me.
This is exactly how I want you.

You’re not focusing on sex in general, but on this person with this body, right here, right now.

Whispering or speaking

Dirty talk doesn’t have to be loud. Whispering can be more intense than talking. Especially close to their ear. Especially if you can feel the breath. Sometimes a soft phrase is more exciting than volume. Play with it. Say something while moving. Or while you’re being quiet. That combination makes it charged.

What if it feels awkward

That feeling is part of it. New behaviour chafes a little in the beginning. If you laugh; you laugh. Stopping mid-phrase is also fine. Dirty talk doesn’t have to be perfect. Just as long as it’s genuine. You can also start with one word. Or one phrase at a time. It’s not a conversation. It’s an addition to what your body’s doing already.

Why it works

Words amplify touch. They make visible what would otherwise remain invisible. Desire is shared instead of guessed. And that makes sex more direct, more honest and often more intense.