10 New Year’s Affirmations to Boost Your Sex Life

Happy New Year!  What a crazy year 2020 has been for us all!

Amidst everything that has happened, it can be hard to feel positive about the future, and even harder to find a way to feel sexually invigorated. 

Life in times of pandemic have been known to cause an increase in distress and poor mental health. It’s understandable (and forgivable) that this could happen. 

In the wake of this global unease has also come a sexual one. People are finding that their desire to have sex has experienced a decrease. Meanwhile, many relationships are completely dissolving in the wake of COVID-19. 

But there’s a number in the pandemic – 19. We’re coming into 2021 now and there’s a definite feeling in the air of tentative hope around the corner. 

So, why not take that hope, infuse it into your life, and give it a super turbo-charge to become the most sexually confident you’ve ever been in the New Year?

Now, we’re not a big fan of New Year’s Resolutions. Statistically, they fail around 80% of the time, but affirmations? Those are terms of empowerment that we can carry with us in a much less dominant way (unless dominance is your thing, we don’t judge here).

So, here are 10 New Year’s affirmations that we suggest for a sexually flourishing 2021. We hope some of them may inspire you.

#1 “I am already sexy as all hell”

Screw 2021 being the turning point! You, as you are right now, are already 100%, no exceptions, sexy as all hell. Tell yourself that once a day and, eventually, the build up of negative self-talk convincing you otherwise will fall away, allowing you to see yourself for the stunner that you’ve always been.

#2 “I will try new things”

Sex thrives on nerves – that thrilling sensation that heightens your senses and gets your heart racing. New experiences provides this, while also increasing your likelihood of finding things that you actually really enjoy, but never considered before.

#3 “I will learn to embrace the word ‘No’”

Equally important in sexual exploration is knowing how to make sure your needs are met and clearly conveyed, especially if you don’t want to do something. 

“No” is a powerful word, but we often feel like we shouldn’t say it. When it comes to your wants and wellbeing this word needs to be something you become confident in. It’s a matter of integrity and good mental health.

#4 “I will become a curious soul”

How much do you actually know about sex? Yes, the key mechanics are in place, but why?…Are there other ways to do things?…How? 

The science and psychology of sex is fascinating and well worth looking into (especially as studies have shown that, the more you immerse yourself in sexual thoughts, the higher your libido rises).

#5 “I will buy one new ‘Affection Item’ a month”

Now, you may be thinking we’re encouraging a monthly sex toy splurge here and, well, you could totally do that. However, by ‘Affection Item’ we’re talking about one thing each month that you feel helps you feel/act in a more sexually fulfilled manner. 

This could be a sex toy (or a porn subscription) but it could also be some perfume, a new pair of boxers, a packer, or a candle. 

Anything that boosts affection (couples-based or personal) counts. This one is a good affirmation, trust us. 

#6 “I will change my mind about one thing every month”

This could be challenging your beliefs about how sexy you really are (got back to #1), reconsidering how important it is to say “No” {#3), or challenging the idea that you don’t need nice things for yourself (#5). 

Equally fun is to revisit something every month that you rules out as just “Not for you” or “Not something I could do”. If you’re even slightly curious about something, but have wrote it off, it’s time to get rid of that cross mark and look into the potential that you might have been wrong. 

Speaking of which…

#7 “I will challenge my limits”

Humans are naturally risk averse, but positive risk taking has many benefits and has been shown to boost self-esteem and independence. 

Limits are scary but (as said before) scary can be good when it comes to sex. The important thing is having limits. There’s nothing wrong with actually testing how close you can get to them while still being comfortable.

#8 “I will invest in my health”

A good diet, reasonable exercise, meditation, mindfulness – all of these are health investments with tangible benefits in the bedroom.

A healthy body and/or mind is more capable of experiencing sex to the fullest extent. Now, do we need to be at optimal health all the time? Not at all. For some of us, optimal health isn’t even achievable, and there’s no shame or fault in that. However, small steps in health can have massive benefits – as can the sheer mentality of wanting to take care of ourselves. If in doubt, give this one a try and see how it goes. 

#9 “I will experience life in the now”

Sex is immediate. It’s a series of moments that we get lost in…Unless we’re thinking about the laundry, what’s for dinner, how we look, etc., etc.

Life imagined in the future can often get in the way of the present. When having sex make a commitment to experience just the moment you’re in. Nothing else matters. Live in attraction and you will learn how to feel what you are experiencing more, rather than anticipating what comes next. 

#10 “I will forgive myself more”

This is the most important affirmation of all.

We won’t always be perfect. We won’t even always execute these affirmations perfectly. But the key to life isn’t perfection – it’s living. Living in this imperfect, scattered, often frantic world. 

We will mess up. Things won’t go to plan. The important thing is to recognise that this is all part of the human (and sexual) experience and to handle it in good grace. 

Just by existing you are already succeeding, and you are already enough. 

Never forget that.